Can we talk about feelings (in my avodas Hashem)

Ready for a short, powerful idea that I just heard in a daily Tanya series which I’m currently learning (more about that later)? As we all know, sefarim constantly speak of the importance of not just doing the right thing, but of experiencing a real, felt relationship with Hashem. 

As we also know, this is hard for us. In an achievement oriented culture, with five senses and a body we use to interface with the world around us, feeling HKBH’s presence around us is something that can be thought of as a truly vague directive. While I absolutely know that it’s a skill anyone can acquire, there is no doubt that it is something that doesn’t come naturally to most of us. The danger is that we fall into the trap of thinking that experiencing Hashem is only reserved for certain types of people, with certain types of personalities, and we stop trying. 

I don’t actually want to address HOW we can work on a more visceral relationship with our Creator (if you are interested in hearing more about that, let me know), instead I want to share something the Ba’al Hatanya says on the topic:

The pasuk says:        

        דברים, ל׳:י״ד  

כִּֽי־קָר֥וֹב אֵלֶ֛יךָ הַדָּבָ֖ר מְאֹ֑ד בְּפִ֥יךָ וּבִֽלְבָבְךָ֖ לַעֲשֹׂתֽוֹ׃

The Alter Rebbe asks a question that many of us find relevant: If we are the type of person who does not easily tap into elevated states of being, how necessary are these feelings in our avodas Hashem? It’s become (Baruch Hashem!) very popular to speak of our love and connection to HKBH, but at the end of the day, besides for the obvious how do I get myself to feel these things- there is also the question of how much must I feel? In an area that’s difficult, if not impossible to measure, how do I even know if I’m feeling enough, or the right way?

And using the words of this pasuk, the Ba’al Hatanya gives  us an answer. How can you inspire yourself toward feeling? By looking at the order of these words- בְּפִ֥יךָ וּבִֽלְבָבְךָ֖ לַעֲשֹׂתֽוֹ.

First, you talk about it a lot. Like anything else that’s a topic of interest to you- you read, think and discuss it. And by having it such a central part of your life, inevitably it will begin to enter your heart. Many of us have the order wrong- we wait to feel something strongly and then naturally it spills over. Try spilling over from a more head-space beginning, and then it will naturally begin to penetrate your heart!

And how much is this necessary? How much of this work must we be busy with? 

Especially for those of us who find all of this heart centered activity a little exhausting and unnatural, the next word is such a relief. לַעֲשֹׂתֽוֹ. That’s it. We should speak of it, live it, and then feel it….only as much as it takes so that we actually perform the mitzvos.

The mitzvos without feelings are missing a crucial component of Divine service. The feeling without the mitzvos are missing everything.

I loved this perspective- hope you do too. 

All the best, 

Mrs. Aliza Feder

PS- I highly recommend the daily Tanya learning by Rabbi Naftali Silberberg. I get some pushback for this as I’m not Lubavitch, but I am fairly certain that anywhere one can derive emes (and there is no one I am aware of that would say that Rav Shneur Zalman of Liadi (the Ba’al Hatanya, or Alter Rebbe) was not a tremendous tzaddik and Talmid Chochom) is worthwhile. 

PPS- if you know of anyone who would like to get these biweekly newsletters, please feel free to send this link to sign up: https://www.mrsalizafeder.com/newsletter-sign-up