Beware the Pocket Paroah
May I tell you something, as a friend?
You could really be working more efficiently. I know, I know, it’s the last thing you want to hear right now, with the lists growing and up to your ears in pesach prep. But I’m only trying to help. So I’ll point this out:
There is a particular kind of distraction that doesn’t feel like distraction at all. In fact, it feels responsible.
It looks like answering emails, confirming which relative is sleeping where, checking a price one last time, looking up a halachah detail, ordering the missing ingredient, and maybe listening to something “meaningful” in the background so the time counts twice. Nothing dramatic. No endless scrolling. Just competent, capable, Erev-Pesach functioning.
And yet, researchers who study attention have found that even brief interruptions leave what they call “attention residue.” When we switch tasks — even for a few seconds — part of the brain remains attached to what we were just doing. We believe we’ve moved on, but cognitively we haven’t fully. The result is not only inefficiency; it’s a subtle thinning of experience. We are present, but not entirely.
Over time, this constant partial attention reshapes us. We become comfortable with fragmentation. We tolerate more noise. We lose depth without consciously choosing to give it up.
Because everything is getting done, we assume nothing is being lost. The kitchen is (almost) kashered. The shopping is (mostly) complete. The guest room has actual sheets on the bed (maybe). So what could be the problem?
The problem is that freedom — up for grabs this time of year — requires inner space.
It is difficult to speak about leaving Mitzrayim while feeling internally tethered to a device that dictates urgency, interrupts conversations, and fills every spare moment with input. No one is forcing us to check it. No one is cracking a whip. And yet many of us feel a quiet pull we rarely question.
Rashi tells us that klal yisroel didn’t call out to Hashem earlier because they literally did not have one second to stop and catch their breath. They were forced to go from one thing to the next, with no time to stop and think. Sound familiar to anybody?
Can we talk about your tech use? (You knew this was coming.) We are aware of the concerns. We have guidelines. We consider ourselves thoughtful and informed. And so we stop there.
But awareness without action has a way of turning into resignation.
Pesach is a time of removing chametz — not only from our kitchens, but from the places where something has puffed up and taken more space than it deserves. This year, before we sit down at the Seder table, it may be worth asking: where has distraction quietly expanded? Where have we accepted fragmentation as normal?
This is not a call for extremism. It is a call for honesty.
There is a middle ground between renouncing the modern world and pretending everything is fine. There is room for small, deliberate shifts that restore a measure of agency and presence without drama.
This is one of the conversations we explore inside TechTalks — thoughtful, grounded inquiry into how technology shapes our homes, our patience, our relationships, and our inner lives. Over six weeks, from Pesach to Shavuos, we unpack these questions together via live webinars (with additional optional engagement with this private community), drawing on secular research and Torah hashkafah, and translating them into realistic, actionable steps.
If you own a phone, this is relevant to you.
Because freedom is too important to leave unexamined.
Registration is open, and I would truly love to have you join the conversation. Share this with a friend — let’s all commit to true freedom, together.
Wishing you a meaningful and liberating Pesach season,
Mrs. Aliza Feder
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