Growing Into Giving: From Resentment to Ratzon
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On My Mind
Mrs. Aliza Feder's Newsletter
May I use you to flesh out something that I’m trying to get more clear about?
I’ve been learning a lot about a subtle but transformative idea: resentful giving is not actually giving. And in truth, it does not benefit either party.
When one gives (o...
Feb 25, 2026
You've Already Learned Everything You Need To Know
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On My Mind
Mrs. Aliza Feder's Newsletter
There are so many moments when I realize that the ideas that shape me most are not new discoveries, but truths I’ve known for years—and somehow still forget. This week, I found myself returning to one of those foundational teachings, a Mishnah we al...
Feb 11, 2026
One Size Fits None
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On My Mind
Mrs. Aliza Feder's Newsletter
Dear Friends,
Here’s a thought: I’m pretty sure we would all agree that if there was a room of fifty post-sem girls and they were asked what they’re looking for in a shidduch, we would hear the same basic answers repeated again and again. The same b...
Jan 28, 2026
The Underrated Power of Rote
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On My Mind
Mrs. Aliza Feder's Newsletter
Anyone else not that looking forward to the next few weeks?
The quick lift of chanukah is so far behind us we can barely see it, and the days ahead stretch out before us like a quiet, wide-open field covered in dirty snow. No yamim tovim—just the or...
Jan 14, 2026
When a Latte is Just a Latte
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On My Mind
Mrs. Aliza Feder's Newsletter
Dear friends,
There was a period in my life when, for one reason or another, I was feeling a bit directionless. I wasn’t sure what I needed to work on, or where my energy was meant to go. So I did the only thing that seemed to make sense at the time...
Dec 31, 2025
Hidden in Plain Sight
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On My Mind
Mrs. Aliza Feder's Newsletter
Last week, my son shared some thoughts that he had heard from Reb Dovid Cohen, the Rosh Yeshiva of Chevron. They resonated deeply with me—especially because they overlapped with things I’ve been thinking about lately.
We learn from a young age that ...
Dec 17, 2025
Getting Our Hearts and Minds Aligned
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On My Mind
Mrs. Aliza Feder's Newsletter
Hi friends,
A couple of weeks ago, I sent out a newsletter about the frustration we feel when we act, think, or feel in ways that contradict the values we know to be true. I explained that we shouldn’t be surprised—or even all that disappointed—when...
Dec 03, 2025
Traveling the Longest Road...
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On My Mind
Mrs. Aliza Feder's Newsletter
I’m sure everyone reading this has heard the saying that the longest distance in the world is between the head and the heart. And yet somehow, it never ceases to amaze us when we act in ways that contradict what we know to be true.
For example, we k...
Nov 19, 2025
Parenting Imperfectly, by Design
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On My Mind
Mrs. Aliza Feder's Newsletter
This week, I had the tremendous brochah of welcoming a new baby granddaughter into my family (simchos by all of Klal Yisrael!). As I held this gorgeous, pink-cheeked baby in my arms and looked into her cloudy newborn eyes, a strange (and maybe sligh...
Nov 05, 2025
The Myth of Hacking Ruchnius
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On My Mind
Mrs. Aliza Feder's Newsletter
A gutten vinter! There is something so comforting about settling back into routine after a long Yom Tov season. I’m enjoying these days before the schedule gets stale and I find myself longing for another break. I’m working on a couple of new course...
Oct 22, 2025
Feeling a little blocked this time of year?
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On My Mind
Mrs. Aliza Feder's Newsletter
Hi friends.
Many years ago, I heard a thought from Rabbi Frand that resonated deeply, and I want to pass it along in case someone else needs to hear it. To me, it feels particularly appropriate right now.
We are entering a very serious time of year...
Sep 17, 2025
Ever Heard of IFS?
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On My Mind
Mrs. Aliza Feder's Newsletter
I have been fascinated with psychology for as long as I can remember. Whether the goal is self help, or just self awareness; discovering the reasons people do what they do is endlessly interesting to me. (I'll confess, I often find the way people's ...
Aug 27, 2025
On My Mind
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